Project Craigslist

Car resident seeking anyone with a house - 37

2007-06-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

This post got flagged for removal the day after we posted it. Apparently it was "inappropriate" or something.

Yo bitches! I'm just a squirrel looking for a nut. Someone looking for a mate in this world. Someone to sit in the passenger seat next to me, while I cruise my shit down the road looking for a Burger King. Damn, I love those Whoppers. MMMMMM Whoppers. Also, the fries are the bomb diggity FOOL. Anyways. So I live in my car, right? Cause my baby daddy kicked me out of our apartment. He kept my baby, too! I loved that baby! He had his pimp hand out and was all, "get out bitch, before I smack the shit outta you! i'm krunked! YO!" So. Who wants to help me make a new baby? I need a baby daddy. Minus the baby, if possible. Babies smell like poo and I don't have room in my trunk for anything else. You understand.

We did get some responses, though, before it was removed.

Mario writes:

What the fuck was that???????????????????????

Todd writes:

I usually date younger women, do you have a daughter?

KE writes:

LOL! Funny shit!

MH writes:

I'm yo pimp! Are you fo real? Don't be frontin' or I'll put yo fool-ass to bed. I gots yobiggedy-bang right here. Let me see yo bedunk-a-dunk! I'll throw someBenjee's at you so you can get yo Burger King. Park yo ride out front andwatch fo the drive-bys. Then sit yo fly-ass down in my crib. I put my jimmyhat on and run it so deep you be cryin' and shit. Yeah you fly bee-yatch!

Craigslist writes:

Your posting has been flagged for removal.

Approximately 98% of postings removed are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines.

Please make sure you are abiding by all posted site rules, including our terms of use

Hot Dog responses PART THREE

2007-06-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

Start here

From: Broooks
To: HDG

Yoidles!

Honestly, i have absolutely no interest in eating 10 lbs of hot dogs...much less in 10 minutes. That doesn't mean i don't think that you are some sort of bad ass in a bizarre way. What i want to know is how you discovered your talent, or what motivated you to pursue competitive eating. Did you have way too many brothers and sisters and your family was fed buffet style? Were hot dogs so exceptionally delicious to you that you ate one after another until your father noticed and began coaching you to live vicariously through your gastronomical achievements?

Perhaps we could discuss this and/or other obscure ridiculous talents, or perhaps devise plans to attempt to discover new and even more ridiculous talents.

Vi ya later,
Broooks

From: HDG
To: Broooks

What's a yoidle?

Yes, I am a bad ass. I know ten ways to kill a man with my bare hands. 12 if I can use a hot dog.

From: Broooks
To: HDG

In the particular usage below a Yoidle represents one unit greeting, personalized, and intended for use as part of a package (not labeled for individual sale).

i need to know ways #2 and #8. The ones with the hot dogs are quite obvious, though i fail to see how incorporating weapons as cunning and deadly as a hot dog parallels with bare handed assassinery.

From: Bob
To: HDG

Hello how are you?

You can eat alot??? hm,,,

What else do you like to do

??

Im a 20 year old college student, looking a smart girl to kick it with and hang out with!!

From: HDG
To: Bob

I don't like to kick things. What are you kicking? Not puppies, I hope.

From: Stephen
To: HDG

Whoa, I love your ad. I always read these just for kicks but I couldn't help wanting to respond to yours. I have no interest in consuming hot dogs myself, but I'm definately a fan of competitive eating.

I'd love to take you to an indian buffet and see you go to town.

From: HDG
To: Stephen

Whenever I eat indian food my ass explodes. If you can come up with another type of buffet, I might take you up on it.

From: Stephen
To: HDG

everybody's ass explodes after indian food, it's the sacrfice you have to make for deliciousness. Chinese buffet always makes me feel like I'm going to die afterward. A pizza buffet would be pretty alright. Is there a buffet you prefer?

From: Med Student
To: HDG

Hi there!

Very interesting profile! So you're Japanese? I'm a 28 year old guy and a medical resident doc. Do you have a picture? I'll send you one and feel free to write back!

From: HDG
To: Med Student

I just watched Grey's Anatomy and it was AWFUL. Burke and Christina didn't get married, McPussy and Meredith are about to break up and WORST OF ALL George failed his intern exam!!! Can you even believe it???? Because I can't!

Anyway, do you relate? Please explain using fewer than 300 words. Also, please provide a diagram.

Hot Dog Gobbler responses - PART TWO

2007-06-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

Start here

From: Someone
To: Hot Dog Gobbler

trukykuy
ffkukuiiuiu
0hoiiho

-jioiio

From: HDG
To: Someone

Hallo

eoufudle
doeiufue
eeeeeeeee
rurdheoqpe''
eebie doobie wum wum

OUT

From: RB
To: HDG
I've got your hot dog baby.

From: HDG
To: RB

And I've got your bun BAY-BEEE.

From: RB
To: HDG

So you say that you're ready for a scintillating hard dick?

From: HDG
To: RB

SCANDALOUS! I was referring to a HOT DOG, you dirty dirty boy.

From: John Doe
To: HDG

I once saw a video of a japanese man eating 20lbs of hot dogs, so I know itcan be done, and have no personal interest in seeing it first hand. I havebeen out of the dating scene for a while since my divorce was final over ayear ago. I have attempted posting personals on CL, but have had mostly spmreplies. If you are real and sincere, and not misusing cl for personal gain,I extend a dinner and movie invitation to you. I am 30 year old male with amedium build, and I hope to hear back from you.

From: HDG
To: John Doe

Can we see Shrek 3?

Hot dog gobbler seeking fun guy - responses

2007-06-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

Start Here

From: Rex

can you really eat that many hotdogs?

From: John

Hi,Your hobby is very interesting. I used to lick stamps for charity fund raising mailings, I won several contests for licking the most stamps in 30 minutes. As a result I can't stand the smell of glue now and I don't think I can taste much either. Kinda strange I know. I'm curious what are you studying in school? I recently completed a degree in business, and hope to get a management position at a restaurant. Hope to hear from you soon,John

From: Fake Name

Ten pounds of hot dogs in under ten minutes?!? O_OHow the devil does one accomplish that? Especially without getting fat?Take it easy. (especially on the poor hotdog population)

From: No Name

I LIKE HOT DOG EATERS

From: A 42 year old probably married man

Hey! I just read your listing and what can I say - I am very impressed. You sound like someone I would like to get to know much better. Let me tell you more about me so that you can decide if I am the type of person you are interested in meeting.

I am a very clean, discreet, white business professional. I own my own international business consulting company - so I travel on occasion. I am 42, 6'3, 228, short brown hair, green eyes, slender build, glasses or contacts. I am laid back, easy going, adventuresome, open minded, romantic, and love to have fun exploring experiences.

If you would like to possibly get together - would love to chat with you more.

What do you think?

From: mat

hey. you're post made me laugh. i have to say competitive eating is an interesting profession. what are you going to study at cincinnati state? get back to me if you would want to talk some time, but i'll pass on the 10 pounds of hot dogs in 10 minutes thing.

From: Jeff

Hello. I'm curious. How do you prepare for the competition?

Hot dog gobbler seeking fun guy - 22

2007-06-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hi! I've never done anything like this before, but I'm getting ready to start school at Cincinnati State and I don't know anyone around here, so why not? The reason I'm starting school so late is because for the past couple of years, I've been involved in competitive eating but I decided I really wanted to experience college. Don't worry, I'm not a fatty! I'm 5'3, petite build, my mom is from Japan and my dad is from the States. I'd really like to explore my Japanese heritage more so I'm thinking of taking some Japanese classes.

Anyway, if you have any questions about how to eat ten pounds of hot dogs in under ten minutes, give me a shout!

Dog Lover Seeking Same responses PART 2

2007-06-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

Start here:

From: Hercule Poirot
To: Kitty Kat

Hey there! Isaw your post on Cl and I am veryinterested in pursuing mutual interests! I have adoggie who luvs kitties..he frquently licks them....Anyway, maybe we should get together? I am 43 y/o,white and looking for fun... Any interest? Thanks!

From: Rama (again)

I really like your dog, she is so fine. And such a soft nice kitty. Here kitty kitty....

From: Larry

I like dogs. If you are OK with a 55 yr with a few extra lbs 6'2 gray hair and moustache.

write me.

From: Jay
To: Kitty Kat

So I am curious about what exactly you meant in your posting....

From: Kitty Kat
To: Jay

I meant I love DOGS and PUSSIES

love,
KITTY KAT

From: Steve

Hello,
I am a true gentlemen looking for a female to go out to eat with, talk, laugh, and get to know each other for nothing but friendly and casual conversation. I am 39, white, drug free, non-smoker, and no tattoo’s. I am very clean cut and a hard worker. Would you be interested in meeting for a decent meal and conversation? My treat of course. Thanks for reading my email and I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Steve

From: John Smith

Hello-

I read your ad and I would like to learn more about you. I also am a dog "lover" and would like to hear more about how much you "love" your dog. Tell me where you are located and what you and your dog like to do together. I can't wait to hear from you!

Best for last . . .

From: Tim
To: Kitty Kat

I'D LOVE TO PET YOUR KITTY.......PLEASE!!!

From: Kitty Kat
To: Tim

Sir. I only let people pet my kitty if and ONLY IF they love dogs. And bring my kitty a treat. KITTY KAT.

From: Tim
To: Kitty Kat

Well.....I LOVE dogs......and I promise to bring the Kitty a treat...!!!!!!!....How about some tube steak smothered in underwear for the Kitty....? LOL

From: Kitty Kat
To: Tim

SIR, that is borderline inappropriate. I was taking about my KITTY KAT KITTEN.

Is now a good time to mention that a lot of alcohol was involved in this project?

Dog Lover Seeking Same - 24

2007-06-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

The post that started it all is long since gone from Craigslist's page, but to the best of my knowledge it said something like this:

Hi! I love my dog! I love her! She's my favorite! I also have a cat! I love my pussy cat! My dog is my best friend and you can call me Kitty Kat!

Only I'm pretty sure it was way better than that. I can't remember that long ago, though. Anyway. Here are some responses she got:

From: Shawn
To: Kitty Kat

talk to me =)

From: Kitty Kat
To: Shawn

Dear Smiley Face,

Do you love dogs? I do. I heart them SO much. Me and my dog hang out all the time at the park. We love to play catch only I don't catch frisbees in my mouth hahahahahahahahahaha. Kitty KAT!

From: Shawn
To: Kitty Kat

Hi Jennie
I'm Shawn I do love dogs...and I would hope you wouldnt catch the frisbee in your mouth..I think it would hurt the face a little...besides...if you did it better than your dog then the dog would feel Alot more pressure to perform...you know...dogs with frisbee envy have the chance of becoming nerotic... =p

From: JR
To: Kitty Kat

Im a dog lover and love to pet the kitty too. Im inSpringfield today in a motel I get thou here a lot asI deliver the Int. trucks out of here. Want to meet,there is a pool and hot tub here. Inside so the rainwont matter. Lets meet and see what happenes.JR

(Kitty Kat did not respond)

From: Rama

Say What?

From: Matt
To: Kitty Kat

Hey,

How are you? I am a 22 y/o white male, 5'10, 17- lbs, athletic and trim build, brown hair and eyes, 5-6 inches cut. How about a description of yourself (age/stats/physical stature/etc)? What fancies your interest, and what are you searching on cl for ? Please respond asap, and we can trade pics. Thanks

From: Kitty Kat
To: Matt

Do you have a pic of your dog? Do you have a dog? Because my dog likes hanging out with other dogs, too. Do you really only weigh 17 pounds? That is a trim build. I'm searching CL for dog lovers. And only dog lovers. Do you love dogs? You know that movie Must Love Dogs? That is my motto. Because. I love dogs. Also. You must love pussies. KITTY KAT.

From: Matt
To: Kitty Kat

Hey,

I must have mistakenly typed 17- lbs, instead of the 170 lbs that I meant. I do have a dog, in fact, a boston terrier. Unfortunately, I do not have a picture of it loaded onto the computer, however, i could easily get one onto it, if you so desire. What exactly do you mean by your statement, "Also, you must love pussies?". I could take it to have two meanings -- i believe you know what they are -- as in the animal, or as in an area of your body. Thus, if you could let me know what you meant by this statement, I could easily provide you with the answer. Thanks.

In the beginning

2007-06-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

This all started last summer when a friend and I were waiting around for everyone to get off work so we could start drinking. So we posted fake ads on Craigslist. And laughed and laughed at the responses.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.